People have told me that they just want to return to the 'good life' they had before they met their Borderline.
Whether you've been involved in an extra-marital affair, or you simply craved more excitement in your life prior to this association--if your existence had actually felt rich and fulfilling before, you would not have been How is it then, that after all these dramatic ups and downs, you've still held the fantasy that this individual can actually meet your needs, and respond to you lovingly on a reasonably consistent basis?
You've been pretty successful putting all that behind you up until now, which triggers shameful feelings and recrimination about how you could have allowed yourself to get into this position.
The sad truth is, we can't know what we don't know yet~ so this is your chance to learn about BPD, but also gain invaluable insights about yourself.
If you suspect that you have these traits, please leave this website and redirect your attention to Family members and friends haven't a clue, or any frame of reference for the trauma you're experiencing, so their simple solutions of; "just get over it" or "leave him/her, and find someone new" never work.
Wishful thinking my dear--and the likelihood, that you learned to combine/confuse love with pain early in your life.
You've clung to hopes that the Borderline might eventually love you, because you haven't had a chance to form a Self-view that isn't heavily biased and you into reacting.
Nevertheless, the Borderline easily triggers rageful reactions from you, because they're Master Baiters (you should pardon the expression).
They'll continually make disparaging comments about your kids, your favorite uncle, your best buddy, etc., that cannot but fire you up!